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祝你不幸!這位父親的“毒雞湯”為什么刷爆全世界朋友圈

約翰·羅伯茨/美國聯邦最高法院第17任首席大法官 董懌翎 編譯
2017-07-11 20:58
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美國聯邦最高法院第17任首席大法官約翰·羅伯茨在兒子畢業典禮上演講。視頻編輯:董懌翎(07:49)
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2017畢業演講進入尾聲,這段演講一定是最勵志的,勵志中帶著毒,演講者沒有像常規那樣祝福學生們前程似錦,而是祝福他們遭遇不幸、痛苦、失敗。

美國聯邦最高法院第17任首席大法官約翰·羅伯茨(John G. Roberts Jr)自己都沒想到,會以這樣的方式一夜爆紅。6月他受邀前往兒子初中畢業典禮發表致辭,這段感動全美的畢業致詞被全世界社交網站瘋狂刷屏。

《華盛頓郵報》甚至評論說:羅伯茨首席大法官本年度最好的作品,不是某個案子的判決書,而是在兒子畢業典禮上的致辭。

約翰 ? 羅伯茨曾上《時代封面。資料圖

有必要認識下這位神奇老爸,約翰 ? 羅伯茨(John G. Roberts Jr), 1955年生于紐約州水牛城,在印第安納州長大。童年時家境拮據,1971年羅伯茨考入哈佛大學,1976年,羅伯茨以第一名的成績從哈佛法學院畢業。1979年,羅伯茨獲得哈佛法學院法學博士學位。2005年9月,由布什提名,參議院批準通過,羅伯茨就任美國聯邦最高法院第17任首席大法官。當時他僅有50歲,羅伯茨也是自1801年起兩個世紀以來,美國最年輕的首席大法官。

羅伯茨與妻子育有一子一女,雖然都是他們領養的,但視如己出。當年布什總統宣布提名首席大法官時,羅伯茨時年4歲的小兒子杰克突然 “砸場子”,面對各大電視現場直播的關鍵時刻,顯得尷尬又有趣。12年過去了,這位昔日淘氣少年即將從 Cardigan Mountain School 畢業,學校畢業典禮請來了杰克老爸,首席大法官羅伯茨致辭,沒想到這個老爸“借此上位

一夜爆紅。

這位父親沒有祝福大家前程似錦,而是前路坎坷,不公,不幸,背叛,失敗……句句扎心,卻意外深得人心。

這是約翰·羅伯茨的演講中文譯文:

有人說,雨就像從天而來的五彩紙碎,所以今天上午上天也加入我們,一起慶祝這個美好的畢業典禮。

慶典繼續進行前,畢業生,你們有個重要的任務要執行,因為你們身后有你們的父母和監護人。幾年前,他們開車送你們來到卡迪根,幫助你們安頓下來,轉過身又駛出了大門。這對他們來說是非凡的犧牲。他們沿著淚水之路開車回到一個比此前空曠和孤獨的家。他們這樣做,是因為他們知道這個教育決定是為了你們而作,不是為了他們。

這樣的犧牲和他們所做的其它一切把你們帶到了今天這個節點。 但今天上午不只是為了你們慶祝,也是為了他們,所以請你們站起來轉過身去給他們最熱烈的掌聲。

現在如果有人問我卡迪根的演講如何,我可以說發言被掌聲打斷了。恭喜,2017屆的畢業生。你們已經達到了一個重要的里程碑。你們生命中的一個重要階段已經過去。但我很抱歉地告訴你們,這只是生命中最簡單的階段,書上也是這么說的。你們不僅是卡迪根的學生,也是一個重要國際社區的成員,我覺得這點需要特別指出。

今天在全國各地的大學、高中、中學,都有致詞嘉賓站在不耐煩的畢業生面前。他們幾乎總是說同樣的話。他們會說今天是一場演練:“這是一個開始,而不是結束,你們應該向前看。”我覺得這樣說很貼切,但是,如果你想弄清楚未來要走向何方,了解你的過去并回頭看也很重要。我想如果你回憶在卡迪根的第一個下午,也許會記得你是孤單的。也許你會記得你有點害怕,有點焦慮。再看現在的你,周圍都是被稱為兄弟的朋友們,一起信心滿滿地面對下一階段的教育。

值得思考的是為什么你能有今天的變化?當你這樣做的時候,我想你可能會感恩同學們的支持,不管是在班級、操場或宿舍里。就信心而言,我覺得它的建立不是因為你做每件事都能成功,而是因為你在朋友的幫助下,不怕失敗。如果你失敗了,你站起來再試一次。如果你再失敗,你就再試一次。如果下一次你還失敗了,可能是時候考慮做別的事情了。但你走到今天不僅是因為那些成功,更因為你不怕失敗。

通常致辭嘉賓都會祝你們好運并送上祝福,我不會這樣做,但我會告訴你們為什么。

在接下來數年的時間里,我希望你們被不公平對待,如此一來,你們才知道公平正義的重要。

我希望你們遭遇背叛,你們才會學到忠誠的重要性。

很抱歉這么說,但我希望你們有時感到孤單,這樣才不會把朋友的存在視為理所當然。

我希望你們三不五時就遭遇不幸,如此才能意識到幾率和運氣在人生中扮演的角色,了解到你的成功不完全是你所應得的,而他人的失敗也不是他們所應得的結果。

當你們失敗時,人生三不五時一定會有失敗,我希望你的對手會對你的失敗感到幸災樂禍,讓你們理解運動家精神的重要性。

我希望你們被忽視,如此才會知道聆聽他人的重要性,我還希望你們遭遇足夠的痛苦來學習同理心。

不管有沒有這些“祝福”,我說的事情,未來終究會發生。

至于你們是否能從中獲利,則取決于你們從不幸中獲得某些訊息的能力。

畢業致詞者通常會給學生一些建議。他們會給一些人生建議,也會給一些有用的小竅門。最常給的建議就是“做自己”。給你們這些都穿著同樣畢業袍的人這樣的建議實在有點怪,但你們確實應該做自己。只是你們得了解做自己的意義何在。除非你很完美,否則做自己不代表不改變。在某些狀況來說,你不應該做自己,而是應該變成更好的人。大家要你做自己,是因為希望你們不要變成別人要你們改變的樣子。但除非你們了解自己是誰,或思考過自己是誰,否則無法做自己。

希臘哲人蘇格拉底說過,“未經自省的人生沒有意義。”對某些事情而言,just do it 是不錯的座右銘,但在你想明白自己想要什么樣的人生之前,這個座右銘可不咋滴。要過美好生活的一個重要提示就是不要試圖過“那個美好的生活”。最容易失去那些對你來說至關重要的價值觀的方式,坦白地說,就是不要去想它們。

這是深刻的建議,還有一些你到新學校適用的技巧。過去幾年,我對你們之中很多年輕人有了不錯的了解,我知道你們是好小伙。但你們也是有幸的年輕人。如果你來這里時沒有特權,現在也有了,因為你來過了這里。但我的建議是:不要表現出來。

當你到了新學校,走到正在耙葉子、鏟雪或倒垃圾的人身邊,向他們介紹自己。詢問他們的名字,并在在校期間如此稱呼他們。另一個建議:走路時身邊經過不認識的人,微笑,看著他們的眼睛,打招呼。最糟糕的結果是,你會被稱為那個老是笑著打招呼的年輕人,這并不是一個糟糕的開端。過去幾年你們的校園里只有男生,但大多數人即將和女生一起上學。對這些人我沒有任何建議。

我給你們的最后一個建議很簡單,但我認為可能會對你的生活產生很大影響。每周一次,你應該給某人寫個短箋。不是電子郵件,而是寫在紙上的簡短話語,只需要你花10分鐘。問下家里的成年人,讓他們告訴你什么是郵票。你可以把郵票貼在信封上。我重申,10分鐘,每周一次。現在我會幫你。我來口述你應該寫的第一個短箋。它會說:“親愛的(填上卡迪根山中學一位老師的名字)。”接著寫:“我開始在這所新學校上學了。英語課我們正在讀(空白)。足球訓練很辛苦,但我很享受。謝謝您對我的教導。”把它放進信封,貼上郵票然后寄出。這對于那些因為各種原因致力于中學男生教育的人來說意義重大。就像我說的,這只需要你每周10分鐘時間。

到學年結束時,你已經向40人寄出短箋。因為你,有40個人會覺得自己有點特別,他們也會覺得你很特別。沒有其他人會在你在校期間攜帶那樣的紅利。

說了夠多的建議,我想朗讀一些重要的歌詞來結尾。我之前引用了希臘哲學家蘇格拉底的話。而這些歌詞來自偉大的美國哲學家鮑勃·迪倫。大約50年前,迪倫想念正在旅途中的兒子,為他作了詞。它列出父母對兒子和女兒的希望。它們也是每個孩子的目標。這些愿望是美好的,永恒的。它們是普世的。它們也是真實的,除了一個給了這首歌曲標題和副歌的愿望。這個愿望是父母的挽歌。這不是一個好愿望。

以下歌詞來自鮑勃·迪倫的《永遠年輕》:

愿上帝庇佑 護你前路

愿你美夢均可成真

愿你與人為善 相互扶持

愿你建成通往群星的天梯

穩妥沿它而上

愿你永遠年輕

愿你成為正直之人

愿你成就真實自我

愿你永遠感知真理

看向身邊無盡光明

愿你勇敢無懼 堅強可靠

愿你永遠年輕 擁有純潔之心

愿你雙手永遠忙碌

愿你腳步永遠輕盈

在變故橫生之時 愿你根基牢靠

愿你心中永遠充滿快樂

愿你的歌聲永遠嘹亮

愿你永遠年輕

謝謝。

知道你英語好,為你附上英文原文:

Thank you very much.

Rain, somebody said, is like confetti from heaven. So even the heavens are celebrating this morning, joining the rest of us at this wonderful commencement ceremony. Before we go any further, graduates, you have an important task to perform because behind you are your parents and guardians. Two or three or four years ago, they drove into Cardigan, dropped you off, helped you get settled and then turned around and drove back out the gates. It was an extraordinary sacrifice for them. They drove down the trail of tears back to an emptier and lonelier house. They did that because the decision about your education, they knew, was about you. It was not about them. That sacrifice and others they made have brought you to this point. But this morning is not just about you. It is also about them, so I hope you will stand up and turn around and give them a great round of applause. Please.

Now when somebody asks me how the remarks at Cardigan went, I will be able to say they were interrupted by applause. Congratulations, class of 2017. You’ve reached an important milestone. An important stage of your life is behind you. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you it is the easiest stage of your life, but it is in the books. While you’ve been at Cardigan, you have all been a part of an important international community as well. And I think that needs to be particularly recognized.

[Roberts gave brief remarks in other languages.]

Now around the country today at colleges, high schools, middle schools, commencement speakers are standing before impatient graduates. And they are almost always saying the same things. They will say that today is a commencement exercise. ‘It is a beginning, not an end. You should look forward.’ And I think that is true enough, however, I think if you’re going to look forward to figure out where you’re going, it’s good to know where you’ve been and to look back as well. And I think if you look back to your first afternoon here at Cardigan, perhaps you will recall that you were lonely. Perhaps you will recall that you were a little scared, a little anxious. And now look at you. You are surrounded by friends that you call brothers, and you are confident in facing the next step in your education.

It is worth trying to think why that is so. And when you do, I think you may appreciate that it was because of the support of your classmates in the classroom, on the athletic field and in the dorms. And as far as the confidence goes, I think you will appreciate that it is not because you succeeded at everything you did, but because with the help of your friends, you were not afraid to fail. And if you did fail, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, it might be time to think about doing something else. But it was not just success, but not being afraid to fail that brought you to this point.

Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.

Now commencement speakers are also expected to give some advice. They give grand advice, and they give some useful tips. The most common grand advice they give is for you to be yourself. It is an odd piece of advice to give people dressed identically, but you should — you should be yourself. But you should understand what that means. Unless you are perfect, it does not mean don’t make any changes. In a certain sense, you should not be yourself. You should try to become something better. People say ‘be yourself’ because they want you to resist the impulse to conform to what others want you to be. But you can’t be yourself if you don't learn who are, and you can’t learn who you are unless you think about it.

The Greek philosopher Socrates said, ‘The unexamined life is not worth living.’ And while ‘just do it’ might be a good motto for some things, it’s not a good motto when it’s trying to figure out how to live your life that is before you. And one important clue to living a good life is to not to try to live thegood life. The best way to lose the values that are central to who you are is frankly not to think about them at all.

So that’s the deep advice. Now some tips as you get ready to go to your new school. Over the last couple of years, I have gotten to know many of you young men pretty well, and I know you are good guys. But you are also privileged young men. And if you weren’t privileged when you came here, you are privileged now because you have been here. My advice is: Don’t act like it.

When you get to your new school, walk up and introduce yourself to the person who is raking the leaves, shoveling the snow or emptying the trash. Learn their name and call them by their name during your time at the school. Another piece of advice: When you pass by people you don’t recognize on the walks, smile, look them in the eye and say hello. The worst thing that will happen is that you will become known as the young man who smiles and says hello, and that is not a bad thing to start with.

You’ve been at a school with just boys. Most of you will be going to a school with girls. I have no advice for you.

The last bit of advice I’ll give you is very simple, but I think it could make a big difference in your life. Once a week, you should write a note to someone. Not an email. A note on a piece of paper. It will take you exactly 10 minutes. Talk to an adult, let them tell you what a stamp is. You can put the stamp on the envelope. Again, 10 minutes, once a week. I will help you, right now. I will dictate to you the first note you should write. It will say, ‘Dear [fill in the name of a teacher at Cardigan Mountain School].’ Say: ‘I have started at this new school. We are reading [blank] in English. Football or soccer practice is hard, but I’m enjoying it. Thank you for teaching me.’ Put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and send it. It will mean a great deal to people who — for reasons most of us cannot contemplate — have dedicated themselves to teaching middle school boys. As I said, that will take you exactly 10 minutes a week. By the end of the school year, you will have sent notes to 40 people. Forty people will feel a little more special because you did, and they will think you are very special because of what you did. No one else is going to carry that dividend during your time at school.

Enough advice. I would like to end by reading some important lyrics. I cited the Greek philosopher Socrates earlier. These lyrics are from the great American philosopher, Bob Dylan. They’re almost 50 years old. He wrote them for his son, Jesse, who he was missing while he was on tour. It lists the hopes that a parent might have for a son and for a daughter. They’re also good goals for a son and a daughter. The wishes are beautiful, they’re timeless. They’re universal. They’re good and true, except for one: It is the wish that gives the song its title and its refrain. That wish is a parent’s lament. It’s not a good wish. So these are the lyrics from Forever Young by Bob Dylan:

May God bless you and keep you always

May your wishes all come true

May you always do for others

And let others do for you

May you build a ladder to the stars

And climb on every rung

And may you stay forever young

May you grow up to be righteous

May you grow up to be true

May you always know the truth

And see the lights surrounding you

May you always be courageous

Stand upright and be strong

And may you stay forever young

May your hands always be busy

May your feet always be swift

May you have a strong foundation

When the winds of changes shift

May your heart always be joyful

May your song always be sung

And may you stay forever young

Thank you.

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